UPLEVELLING// Facing Your Shadow

Rising from a place of destruction, preparing to face things you’d rather not, is like gathering every possible tool for your toolbelt, ready for excavation. You gather everything, the dust fluff in the corners, and the weird snacks at the bottom of your bag. You take everything out of the room. Collect all the things you've learned and the things to unlearn.

Facing a game of emotional wack-a-mole, where the faster and more accurate the smash down, the quicker it comes up somewhere else. Endlessly putting out fires with no periphery.

So finally, you stop, sit, open the machine and take out each part independently. Deconstructing it with everything in your toolbelt. And then you don't have to play anymore, you rebuild.

There are times we have to up level in order to rise to our life, return to ourselves. Requiring entirely different tools, with each tool on an independent uncontrollable timeline.

Flowing with our currents instead of mind wrestling our way out.

Harnessing the energy of the earth. With your feet rooted and eyes closed, hands wide. Allowing our shadows to move in around us, holding them, welcoming the movement. To make friends with everything. A William Turner painting, the sublime.

Holding all our power as tools for growth when we intend deep transformation; regret, grief, terror, sadness, shame, anger, unknown, fear. To flow and feel into these places as part of up-leveling.

Moving a ball of pulsing energy in shifting hands, unravelling the locked tight coils with gentle fingers, breathing space into the nest, loosening. Receiving it as is without pushing it away or positive think tricking yourself out.

Meeting the shadow with a loving open heart. To sit with it, simply listening.

Gently pumping life back into the dark corners, blowing out dust, cleaning house. That this is it, these are our tools for rising. Accepting that in order to clean a room, you must unearth the dust and create space for it to move. That there is beauty in meeting destruction with an expansive love. And when there's space, that's when pouring in happens.