REJECTION AS A NEW PATH// Grad School

Oil painting by Leah Williams of a Staghorn Fern, Platycerium bifurcatum. Photography by Leah Williams

Last spring I found out I got rejected from every Grad School MFA Program I applied to. Once I processed the general disappointment of being rejected, I realized that I didn’t actually want to go to school. Not getting into grad school was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It was as though someone said “it’s ok, you can let go.”

So I started investigating this feeling of relief. Why had I been striving and pushing for this thing if I didn’t even want to do it?

I decided to observe myself, to see how I actually used my time and to notice what I looked forward to or what I dreaded. When you start paying attention to what lights you up and gets you excited, you also notice what doesn’t.

And then it started to be pretty obvious and kind of scary. I subscribed to fancy art magazines and didn’t read them. I used stacks of them to hold up my bed…  Looking back, every time I was supposed to write an artist proposal or work on a painting, I would prioritize taking pictures of my vegetables, researching Zero Waste or listening to @theminimalists podcast. I assumed this was just procrastination, or what Steven Pressfield calls artist resistance. But I really think it was just an indicator of being in the wrong field. How I used my time wasn’t procrastination, it simply reflected my actual priorities and interests (zero waste, minimalism, healthy living).

There are stories of authors who receive hundreds of rejection letters before publishing an amazing bestselling book. Sometimes rejection and obstacles do mean that you need to keep trying and persevere, to believe in yourself when no one else does. But I think sometimes rejection and obstacles can actually be signs trying to tell you it’s not your path. And changing directions isn’t giving up, it’s getting free. And when you let go of something that’s not for you, it opens up this huge space for something else to pour in. Something that could be even bigger, better and way more aligned then what you imagined. 

Have you ever let go of something you thought you wanted, and then had something even more awesome flow into your life?

Letting Go, Change & GrowthLeah WilliamsLife Made Light, lifemadelight, life made light, Heart Work, heart work, Letting go, letting go, rejection, rejection as a new path, getting free, change your mind, shift in perspective, MFA, oil painting, painting, Staghorn Fern, staghorn fern, disapointment, let go, release, disappointment, relief, striving, school, attention, do what you love, career, art, Zero Waste, artist resistance, The Minimalists, procrastination, priorities, obstacles, signs, soul path, make space, aligned, change direction, January, january, 2018, Leah Williams, leah williams, leah williams instagram, Leah Williams Canada, leah m Williams, Leah M Williams, Steven Pressfield, grad school, failure, I didn't get into grad school, what do you do when you don't get into grad schoolComment